Do What the Monty Python Boys Say

Well, after a little over two months of being virtually unemployed, I have finally found myself a job. It isn't necessarily in my field and it's not going to make me a millionaire, but it's got a lot of small bonuses that I appreciate, one being that it's a place I go every day and complete tasks for which someone then hands me money. I think I need some tasks to complete and I definitely need someone to hand me money.

I'm taking over the job from a good friend who is moving on to bigger things. While we were training together, I said, "I hope you don't think less of me for taking this job." (We are the kind of friends who can say such things to each other) She looked at me like I was crazy, as people often do, and said, "Why would I think less of you for taking a job that I was just doing? I would think less of you for sitting around doing nothing and not taking what was offered to you." And of course, she was right. But I still had my doubts.

I tend to look on the negative side of things. People who know me well will say this is a gigantic understatement, so maybe I should rephrase that. I almost always look on the negative side of things. I would, of course, like to say I'm just cautious. Careful. Realistic. And I am those things. But I am also wary of getting too excited about anything, lest it disappoint me or make me feel like a fool. And I suspect that's not the optimum way to live.

When I was younger, I remember getting unbelievably excited about things. I would pack for camp two weeks in advance, checking and rechecking my list for accuracy and completeness. I would wake up three hours early for a trip to St. Louis and drive everyone to the point of madness by asking "When are we leaving? How much longer? Are we there yet?" fifty times more often than the average child. I couldn't wait for summer because I just knew it was going to be awesome, every time.

Something happened between now and then. I no longer have the same level of excitement and anticipation about anything, be it a job or a concert. I'm usually able to muster it by the time the event comes around, but leading up to it I'm usually filled with thoughts of what can and probably will go wrong. I like to be pleasantly surprised when things go right, rather than be sure that they will only to be disappointed when they don't.What happens between childhood and adulthood to cause this phenomenon?

I guess now we have choices. As children, we don't necessarily choose our emotions, we just let them wash over us and bathe in the glory of innocence. As adults, we have seen more, been disappointed more, and can spot the pitfalls that we once fell headfirst into. This wisdom, although welcome and necessary, can cause us to be "...cautious. Careful. Realistic." Which is all well and good, but we can cautious, careful, and realistic ourselves into not enjoying anything.

It appears, then, that we must choose to be excited. Enthusiastic. Happy. We are forced to choose our paths, which is pretty exciting itself when you actually consider it. So I'm going to break from tradition this time and choose to be excited, enthusiastic, and happy about this new little venture in my life.